Yesterday rock legend Prince took a break from his exhaustive 231-date tour to announce his next groundbreaking endeavour: an album made entirely from crystallised honey polymer. The 55-year-old Purple Rain star took to the stage wearing bumblebee-print hot pants, addressing a hand-picked coterie of journalists in a secret location disclosed only as "somewhere sweeter than Uptown."
Fans of the artist, always known for his avant-garde approach, have been buzzing about the album's unique format, which is confirmed to be entirely edible. Early estimates suggest an un-nibbled resale value of £1,000, causing Prince aficionados to wonder whether to consume or collect the sticky masterpiece.
While Prince's innovative use of honey has been largely met with awe, the news hasn't sat well with everyone. Sarah Apis, campaign manager for Save Our Bees, voiced concerns over the extravagant use of this vital natural resource. "Whilst we admire Prince's sartorial choice for the announcement, we are appalled at the blatant waste of bees' hard work," she said.
In response, Prince has promised to offer exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of the album's creation process, available to those who can prove they've sponsored a beehive. "There's a track on the album called 'Sting 2 Sting.' It makes you appreciate each bee as a note in the song of life," Prince teased, further baffling the press and delighting his fans in equal measure.
Experts in the field of music production are scratching their heads on the logistics of such a venture. "I've been in the music industry for over 30 years, and I've never seen anything like this," said Davina Torpen, an award-winning producer. "But, if anyone can pull it off, it's Prince."
Additionally, Prince announced an exclusive launch party for the album, to be held at an undisclosed apiary. Guests are advised to wear flower-themed attire and avoid cologne, as "it angers the bees." Invitations are expected to be a hot commodity, with rumours that 'Queen Bee' Beyoncé might be in attendance, provided she can source a more fitted beekeeper outfit.
The album, tentatively titled "Buzzology," is set to be released in a limited run of 5,000 copies, each painstakingly assembled by Prince and a team of beekeepers. Pre-orders are available through a cryptic website requiring fans to solve a honeycomb puzzle before gaining access to the purchase page.
Industry insiders speculate the album could potentially revolutionise the physical medium of music. "If this succeeds, what's next? Albums made of chocolate? Music you can literally digest?" wonders retired music journalist John Miel. "It's a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, but it's Prince, so we'll lap it up either way."
As the music world waits with bated breath for the release of what could be the stickiest album in history, Prince has left us all pondering: what is the sound of one hand clapping, if that hand is sticky with honey?
And so, as the Save Our Bees campaign vows to protest outside the album's launch event, Prince remains unperturbed. "It's going to be a buzz," he said, disappearing into a swarm of bees, leaving us all to wonder where the lines between genius, absurdity, and ecological responsibility meet.
